July 5th, 2010
Brian

First of all let me begin by announcing that I’ve only met a handful of French people who weren’t complete ignorant homos with their heads and their accents stuck up their Frenchy anuses.

Now that I got that out of the way: Paris was awesome. It was really super fucking awesome. Best weekend of my life? Not too sure, but it’s surely at the top of my  “Best weekends EVAR” list. So much happened that I’m actually going to make multiple posts about all that happened in France. What can you soon expect on this blog? A quick overview:

• Nigger Narutos – My revised opinion on why white and now black people also  should not be allowed to cosplay.
• Fucking French – Except for a few, most of them are fucking dickheads. I’ll tell you why in this post.
• Street Sleeping – Because nothing says “Dedication” more than sleeping on the streets waiting for your favourite idols.
• A Convivial Concert – Dehydration has probably damaged by kidneys and my voice is gone. Was it worth it? (Hint: Yes)
• The Signing Session – Meeting the girls after 4 years of fandom. Holy shiiiiiit!
• Sexy H!O people – You think I’m the only sexy wota? Think again!

Full metal excitement from Wednesday to Saturday  without hardly any sleep. It was an amazing experience that I’m glad I didn’t miss out on. I got to tell Reina she’s my number one Idol and I got to tell Aika “suki desu”. Believe it or not but she’s actually alright in real life. Shame my love for her only lasted for a day or so!

I thought the wota inside me was gone: but it’s back again and bigger than ever!

モーニングすさまじい

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June 2nd, 2010
Brian

Oh shiiiii-. (No, not oishii you dirty weeabo!) I’m on a blogging spree! Someone stop me! No, don’t! I’m on a roll here. Today I present to you the official time measurements from the new Morning Musume single!!

But first let me say to you that I love this single. It’s such a classic tune! It could fit well under any anime series. In fact, it reminds me a bit too well of one ending in particular. It’s the only 4.000.000 episode Anime I managed to watch: Dragonball. Most probably because I have dragon balls myself. *wink* *wink*

Enough with the pervynes, on to the Dragonball theme!

Yes! I love this song! Dan dan~ whatever. I bet you don’t really care.But I know one thing you care about… the results from my trusty stopwatch and one hell of a boring PV. It beats the green screen, but it makes me sad that it’s filmed on a football field and the showroom at IKEA Japan. (Well, it looks like that anyway)

1. Takahashi Ai – 12 seconds
2. Kamei Eri – 12 seconds
3. Tanaka Reina – 11 seconds
4. Niigaki Risa – 11 seconds
5. Lin Lin – 10 seconds
6. Jun Jun – 9 seconds
7. Michishige Sayumi – 9 seconds
8. Thingy – 9 seconds.

Wow isn’t that interesting? Eri has as much screentime as Aichan! Now to complete the post a pretty graph and I’m done for the night!

Draw your conclusions and drop them in the comments! I know you want to!

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May 30th, 2010
Brian

Many decades ago I decided to dedicate some blog posts to the lovely dancing of that one girl called Aikawa Kozue, the humble teenager who seems to do a better job in dancing to songs than the original performers. She perfected Dakishimete² and flawlessy danced to Risonante Blue.

So what happened to this girl? Is she still alive? Has she stopped dancing? I heard she married Tsunku! Well let me begin to say that I can imagine that Kozue is doing better than ever. Kozue has been approached by a corporation who’s an expert in exploiting dancing Japanese girls called Heartfull Entertainment.  However HE didn’t just approach just Kozue; they also approached 2 other girls who were known in the internets for their awesome dancing skills. Sadly enough they’re just not as awesome as Kozue.

So you have 3 girls who are more than fine at dancing and and a shady company who is keen on making money. HE did what any fool in Japan would do and pirated a copy of Auto-tune and Fruityloops and began making songs for the freshly formed group that would perform under the name of Danceroid!

They have already performed at venues like Comiket and are most likely to stay alive untill the wotaku bubble bursts or untill the girls become too old to perv over. In the mean time you can expect them to keep on releasing DVD’s, like their first DVD called「DANCEROID」. Featuring some songs of themselves, and some songs that sound a lot like songs i’ve heard before. Their DVD includes songs like LOL – Lots of Laugh (No joke), Power of Infinity and Gravity=Reality. Yes, it does seem as if the producer never finished his physics degree.

You’ll be able to find Danceroid their DVD all over the net ready for download; or you support her by buying the DVD on whatever website you please!

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May 30th, 2010
Brian

Back in the golden days of Hello! Project (Haha! I love saying that) there used to a returning trend of the so called Shuffle units. Yes we have the occasional shuffle units now; but no longer as a returning trends. Shuffle units requires additional managers and they cost money. If they’d be able to make a profit from shuffle units they’d be able to afford mangers; sadly enough neither conditions apply. Ergo we have no more shuffle units.

However, the shuffle units did bring a lot of awesomeness in to our world. Tsunku would spin his wheel of magic, and via those results he’d select certain girls to sing together in a unit and release a single and thus rake in moar cash. Shuffle units like Salt 1337, Water 100, and Air 9001 all produced lovely singles which would release enough dopamine in your brain for you to be happy for at least 5 minuts untill the song stopped playing.

And then there was Elegies. The 2005 shuffle unit that released a whole lot more hormones than just dopamine. Elegies, or as I refer to it as the sexy unit, featured Tanaka Reina with straight hair(!), Takahashi Ai with straight hair(!), Ayumi Shibata with straight hair (!) and Ai Satoda with straight hair(!). Since straight hair is extremely sexy the unit should’ve been called Straighties.  Elegies released just one single named “Inshouha Renoir no You ni”, but should’ve been turned into a super sexy idol unit that would entertain us for many years to come.

Sadly enough it didn’t and now all there is left is the super sexy song “Inshouha Renoir no You ni”, truly a jewel from the past! And it leaves us wondering where exactly the rainbow is seeping from… *wink* *wink*

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May 25th, 2010
Brian

In this new series of posts I will look back at what Hello! Project and other j-pop groups once brought us. It’s like a history class but with Idolicious content instead of evil men with silly mustaches and swastika filled backdrops.

Who still remembers Mini Moni (ミニモニ。)? Who still listens to Strawberry pie? Who still feels his nerd weaboo rage coming up because Takahashi Ai was placed inside of Mini Moni? Well I bet none of you listen to Mini Moni and that only a few are still upset about Aichan joining. It’s been 6, and I mean SIX fucking years since Mini Moni disbanded.

And so I bring you, back from the grave it never went to, Genki Jirushi No Oomori Song. The theme song for the Mini Moni movie “The Great Cake Adventure”. The only song that featured past and present Mini Moni members at the time. The song itself was released back in 2002 and sold a whopping 50k singles. More than Morning Musume sells these days! The PV also features 4 very young girls who have all too familiar faces. Can you guess who they are?

And now to finish this poorly written blog post I shall serve to you the PV that goes with the song. Hoping it’ll bring you a big serving of cheer! \o/

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May 6th, 2010
Brian

Shave my balls and call me skippy. Morning Musume is coming to Europe. And out of every country in Europe they pick France. As we all know the French are complete and ignorant dickheads whose accents are more idiotic than the first sentence of my post.

However, for one day I shall not complain! Because Morning Musume is coming to Paris. Just exactly how awesome is that? I’d insert a picture of Riemanns Z-function here proclaiming that R is the amount of awesome. But Wordpress fails to upload images today so you’ll have to without. Apparently there will be signing sessions, a conference, and a live concert! The French described it as a “paying” concert so I’m not too sure if we’re getting money to watch the concert or have to pay to watch the concert. Also I’m not too sure about the conference part either. What do they mean by a conference. Will Reina somehow give a talk about new functions of Windows 7? Will Ai-chan give a talk on global warming? Is Jun going to demonstrate the many uses of a banana? For now there are a lot of questions that needs to be answered, but the most important question is of course: Will I go? And the answer is “Of-fucking-course I will!”

In conclusion; One awesome girl group, one awesome country, 62 million potential dickheads. Paris here I come!

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May 3rd, 2010
Brian

In my “first” post I dared to say that the new Morning Musume album is completely shit and shouldn’t have been released. Although I’ve put it slightly different, it boiled down to that. Like anyone who swears that religion is the shit I have made a completely and utterly bullshit opinion without even explaining my opinion. I’ve stated a fact that I didn’t even bother to back up by any statements at all. So in this post I look at the 10 My Me and see if I was speaking the truth; or merely bullshitting myself and me.

1. Moonlight Night ~Japanese Runes Here~

Boy oh boy. Ever since the opening of a very popular V6 song whose title I fail to remember (I think it was Honey beat?) I didn’t thought it could become any more odd. V6 their intro featured a women speaking dutch, claiming that “The number you dialed is no longer in service”. However Tsunku managed to blow my brains out by using an intro that is probably stolen from a serie on the Discovery Channel. “Electroconvulsive therapy part I”. For those who failed to pay attention at psychology lessons:  ECT is a therapy where they inject electrodes into your brain, and fire off electric charges whenever you do something that doesn’t fit acceptable behavior. Albeit effective you can imagine it’s quite controversial. Anyway, I’m trending off-topic.

What about the song? The song itself is pretty good actually. It certainly doesn’t suck and features a wide array of voices which tells me that the line distribution is more fair then what I’m used to. Surely it features the voices of Reina and a certain Takahashi Ai are present in abundance but doesn’t mean that the line distribution is unfair. Hey, was that an Eri solo?! The song itself reminds me of a cracked up version of “The Manpower”. I can imagine the girls getting down to this song on cheap liquor before they indulge themselves in Japanese club life. But that’s probably the opposite of what’s really going on. Or is it?

I wave around with my magic wand and praise this number to heaven! Partially due to the oddular intro but mostly because the song is pleasant to listen to on repeat.

Score: Brian 0 – 1 Morning Musume

2. Kimagure Princess

I could go into detail about this song, but no matter how I stretch or turn it… the voices in the beginning are horrible. The speed of the voices is NOT a good thing, even the large portions of normal singing aren’t compensating for the horrible sped up voices in the beginning. A good start is half the work, but sadly enough the other half won’t cut it either. The tune itself is alright. Nothing special, but this song could have been way, and I mean way better.

Score: Brian 1- 1 Morning Musume

3. Genki Pikappika

Well this song sure is GENKI. It’s way more genki than Genki+ anyway. Not meaning that this song is better than Genki+. Just saying that this song is more genki. Genki and euphoric! In theory my favourite mixture of emotional elements. So you’d say this is a winner in my book right?

Well I guess that in a way it is! The bridge reminds me of the Pilot Wings 64 tune a lot. And since Pilot Wings is a game I thoroughly enjoyed then this means that I enjoy this song a lot as well right!? Right?!

Who am I kidding; this song is great! It would work perfect as an ending theme for your average anime , or as a supporting song with flashbacks to your life. Preferably with a lot of shots where you’re being portrayed against a sunset that colours the sky orange. Yeah, that would totally work for me! But where… where is Koharu? It makes me sad that at songs like this she’s gone.

Score: Brian 1 – 2 Morning Musume.

4. Namidacchi

Wow, did Tsunku accidentally swap Buono! their songs with Morning Musume’s!? This song has energy! And I mean energy! It’s Dekkai Uchuu Ni ga Aru mixed with Buono influences. It’s sad and happy at the same time. It’s superb! It’s amazing! I love it! If only this song could make up for all the problems in the world. Well it can’t. It’s still good! Quite possibly the best song on the album!

Score: Brian 1 – 3 Morning Musume

5. Onna ga Medatte Naze Ikanai

Tsunku you fucker! Did you borrow inspiration from old video games when you created this album? I’m pretty sure you did! You dog! Man this song is awesome! Again another awesome single! Ever since kindergarten I was a sucker for songs that were sung in choir-like ways. The multivocal parts in this song kick major ass; and since the most part of this song is multivocal in combination with a background tune that seems to be stolen from a game like Megaman makes it extremely good. I don’t know why, but listening to the song sets me on edge.

The peaks and drops in pitch that are sung throughout the chorus makes the chorus just as interesting to listen to. I’ve never managed to find a right word for it; so unless I come up with a word or someone else comes up with it you’ll have to do with my vaguest of description.

I can’t be arsed to write the title again; but it kicks ass. Majorly!

Score: Brian 1 – 4 Morning Musume

6. Ookii Hitomi

Say this autotuned: “Man this song is autotuned”. And again it’s very energetic up-beat. Almost like a theme song fit for an anime. Where Kimagure Princess failed horrible at voice processing, Ookii Hitomi actually does a pretty good job! I’m just sad that this is the fuck-knows how many’th song that is happy, upbeat, stolen-from-a-video-game, and good to the ear. I want some variation in my album Tsunku! You dumbass!

So because Tsunku sucks at giving me the so much desired variation this one will end in a tie.

Also: I’m kind of hearing a bit too much Reina! (If that would ever be possible)

Score: Brian 1 – 4 Morning Musume

7. Ano Hi ni Modoritai

Brian asks for variation, Brian gets variation. First thought that springs to mind? A revision of Indigo Blue Love. Less sexy, but more adult. It sports a serious amount of drama in my ever so humble yet ever so important opinion. It’s easy to listen to. It can play on the background for ages without you noticing that the same song has been on repeat for 48 hours. Ai and Risa really pull of this song just nicely.

The song is plain, nothing exciting. But that also means that it’s not donkey shit!

Score: Brian 1 – 5 Morning Musume

8. Nanchatte Renai!

Nanchatte!

Score: Brian 1 – 7 Morning Musume

End of Part 1

Well I think it’s pretty obvious that I’ve pulled open my big mouth and it smelled like an aweful steaming pile of shit. I spoke before I was able to give a fair and balanced verdict. Now that I’ve actually listened to the songs I must say that I’m pleasantly surprised. Is it enough to save Morning Musume from certain medial death? I doubt it, but at least they bought themselves some years before they pull the plug!

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May 1st, 2010
Brian

Well… I guess an “Hello” is in order. So “Hello!”. You might wonder where the hell I’ve been. Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe you thought I died. Or maybe you thought I’d given up on the internets.

And I am pleased to announce that none of these things happened. My own incompetence led to a server crash. And my own lazyness led to me never restoring Wotakular. It took me 4 months to gather enough motivation to restore the website. Then another 15 minutes to actually restore the website.

So what have I been up to these last 4 months? Not much! Working, sleeping, working and enjoying the company of a lovely lovable girlfriend, and all the pros that come with one. Also on a little side note: there will be even less Reina whoring coming from me. Yes things will never be the same. Things will be better. I’ll cover all the ugly bitches that roam the j-pop scene (Yes Beckii Cruel, I mean you) and I’ll write many poetic posts about the lovely ladies which are still ever so present. My girlfriend will hate me for this, but I’m sure she’ll understand. You do, right sweetypants? The new Wotakular is not new. It will be the same as always. But with even less Reina but with more other stuff.

Since it’s quite late I can’t be arsed to write anything more than this. Besides; the current time will probably lead to me writing a poor blog post. Oh, and on a final note: I fucking HATE the new Morning Musume album.

Now for a genki song to celebrate me being back:

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November 13th, 2009
Brian

As YiKitty announced yesterday; a more in-depth review of Yuna Ito her latest single, Let it Go, would come. And here it is already! In all honesty; if you would have given me an instrumental version of the song and I had to guess the artist? I’d pick YUI. I find the song very very YUI-esque and that’s a good thing! We all know Yuna from her cheesy ballads such as “Miss you”, “Trust you”, “Stuck on You” and “Love you”. Well, you should know at least one of the You’s anyway. So naturally, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that Yuna has gone to the walk the YUI way.

Now the song it self, it’s YUI-esque. I’ve told you that. But what does that mean? Get ready for an acoustic sounding song with an happy undertone. I’d imagine myself listening to this song while riding a convertible along some lonely road. The wind in my hair and my love at the end of that very road. It has guitars, a shamisen and simple slow drums.  I can’t say much about the song as it’s not special if you into account just the song. However if you compare the song to Yuna Ito her normal repertoire you can’t be anything else but pleasantly surprised with the genki tunes she sings and plays.

The PV that comes with the song has no story to it unlike some of her previous PV’s. Instead we get to enjoy Yuna goodness in a pink setting, a lolita-ish dress, Yuna dressed up a simple “girl-next-door” and a mannequin styled miss Ito.

p.s: despite the amount of recent Yuna Posts: This won’t be a Yuna fanblog. Ever :P You have YiKitty to thank for the Yuna posts. :3

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November 9th, 2009
Brian

36 female faces, divided in groups of 9. Those 9 girls are none other than the lovely girls whom are allowed to call themselves モーニング娘。. I had 4 Morning Musume posters, framed, gracing my walls. Complemented by 2 Tanaka Reina towels. One small, one super huge. Next to my bed a framed picture of earlier mentioned girl stood. Stood… it hang… it graced my wall.

But not anymore. For the past 4 months I have been trying to build a relationship with a girl. A girl whom I like a lot. I even dare to say that I honestly love her. Fate rolls its dice in many odd ways. Never have I believed to come across a woman who I enjoy being with as much as I enjoy being around with her. And to further topple my image of my future: she actually liked some J-pop artists. The first time she came over to my place I was scared of what she would think of my Morning Musume posters. To my utmost surprise she was fine with it! She said she thought it was nice for someone to show passion for their hobby; whether it’s collecting trains or chanting to songs sung by teenage Japanese pop idols. Anyone with an open mind like that is a winner in my book and soon after I started to develop feelings for said girl.

And so we got to the point where I am right now. Exactly 367 days after my most awesome day in Japan I have removed my Morning Musume posters and replaced them with large prints of photos I once made while visiting Japan. The Reina banners are gone. I will probably auction them on Ebay.

Morning Musume has been a part of my life for almost 4 years. Thanks to Morning Musume I have made one friend whom I plan to keep for the rest of my life. I have made countless of other friends who I will lose contact with over the time span of many years.

But, I’m inclined to say ‘sadly‘, I feel like I have to let go off my wotadom in order to continue building a solid relationship with her. I believe thay you are a wota or not. You don’t become one. When it’s time for your wota to come out you find Morning Musume. You find AKB. Or you find some other J-idolicious girl band. And when it’s time, the wota inside of you goes back where it came from. Waiting for the perfect moment to come out again.

Being a wota has been a fun ride. But for me it’s time to move on. I will still continue my blog, I’ll continue to have a passion for J-pop… just not with the dedication that I used to have.

Love is a silly thing and I’m glad I ran into it. But when shit hits the fan… I know that deep inside my brain there lurks a wota ready to show itself. But in all honesty? I hope he stays there for the rest of his life.

A butterknife does not make a good music instrument.

Brian out

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