June 15th, 2010
BrianFollwing up my immensely popular blogpost on why white people should not be allowed to cosplay I bring you more conclusive evidence why the homo cosplayerus should be banned from existance. Lo and behold:
If you watch this video and you’re not annoyed by it I would like you to remove wotakular.com from your bookmarks and/or blogroll and quite preferably add it to your firewall blacklist.
June 4th, 2010 BrianTitle what the fuck? I looked for a thesaurus of the word “entropy” and found “Topsy-Turviness”! I figured that would sound a lot better catchier than entropy. So what is this post about I hear you think. I’m going off-track from the daily Japanese adoration and vulgarization to spend some time looking at the poor souls and happy people that end up on this website by using search engines. And believe it or: people do!
But it’s not about the fact that people find Wotakular.com, it’s how they find it. That is why I’m dedicating another post to the inventiveness of your average internet user! Learn how they end up at this website, so you don’t have to.
Let’s go!
First search term is probably the best, “ai kago sucked some dick“. But mister searcher, why are you searching for something to which you already know the answer? You’re providing it yourself nota bene. (Latin skills yo!). Silly silly silly. Next search term I found noteworthy is “beckii cruel vs kozue aikawa“. What the hell is that all about? Isn’t it obvious that Kozue is the winner in your battle? Give me a fucking break. Did you really need to search for this? “female recordings with the expression “scary scary scary” included“… I honestly don’t know how you could possibly end up at Wotakular when you search for this; but apparently it’s possible. I feel sorry the chump though. I know how annoying it can be when you remember so much details about, lets say, a song. But you just can’t come up with the title or the artist. Very annoying. I feel sorry for you searching-for-anwer-kun. Another one are three words I’d never use in one sentence. “mano erina horrible“, what’s wrong with you man!? Mano Erina and Horrible don’t go together in one sentence unless you place “is not” in between. And I don’t see you doing that! Oh look, our scary³ friend is back. This time searching for “what interview quote “scary scary scary“. Haha, so you recalled it was an interview huh? Well I still can’t help you. But if you’re interested in pictures of J-idols I can certainly help you. Now the final search term I can be arsed to be witty about it “akbaka“. This has popped up in my search statistics recently. How is that possible? Did the world finally realize the truth about AKB48?
And now for some more search terms that lead to the swirling vortex of Japanezery®:
- Miyabi X
- Sayumi “It’s you” sex
- Tanaka Reina wins game
- Fat Maasa Sudou (Is someone making a deathlist?)
- aikawa kozue japanese dance girl awesome luka
- best anthropology musumes photo gallery
- maasa sudou fat (Definitely building a deathlist…)
- morning museme otaku
- nobel peace prize morning musume
You know a man has no inspiritation for his blog when he starts to post search engine terms… Hoohah! Time for sleep my snuggle bunnies.
May 1st, 2010 BrianWell… I guess an “Hello” is in order. So “Hello!”. You might wonder where the hell I’ve been. Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe you thought I died. Or maybe you thought I’d given up on the internets.
And I am pleased to announce that none of these things happened. My own incompetence led to a server crash. And my own lazyness led to me never restoring Wotakular. It took me 4 months to gather enough motivation to restore the website. Then another 15 minutes to actually restore the website.
So what have I been up to these last 4 months? Not much! Working, sleeping, working and enjoying the company of a lovely lovable girlfriend, and all the pros that come with one. Also on a little side note: there will be even less Reina whoring coming from me. Yes things will never be the same. Things will be better. I’ll cover all the ugly bitches that roam the j-pop scene (Yes Beckii Cruel, I mean you) and I’ll write many poetic posts about the lovely ladies which are still ever so present. My girlfriend will hate me for this, but I’m sure she’ll understand. You do, right sweetypants? The new Wotakular is not new. It will be the same as always. But with even less Reina but with more other stuff.
Since it’s quite late I can’t be arsed to write anything more than this. Besides; the current time will probably lead to me writing a poor blog post. Oh, and on a final note: I fucking HATE the new Morning Musume album.
Now for a genki song to celebrate me being back:
Tags: Aggrevated taxi drivers, Morning Musume, Wotakular
Categories: Totally unrelated, Wota Worthy2 Comments »
December 28th, 2009 BrianI accidentally deleted 20 comments! So if your comment got deleted it’s not because I hate you, it’s because I was not being cautious enough. :3
December 16th, 2009 BrianThe end of the year is nigh, and so we look back at 2009 and see if our brain has connected enough neurons with dandrites in order for us to make witty and undoubtedly hilarious blog-posts about the previously mentioned year. Yes ladies and gentlemen: It’s time to look back at 2009 and look at all the shit that happened!
#5 My .no 5 disappointment of 2009 has to be the single release of “No Hesitation” (can’t be arsed to get the caps right). The problem with the single lies in the nature of the singer. Kago Ai sucks cock, but the single does not. Therefor I got caught in an entanglement of emotions and intrigues; leading me to believe that the single release was actually a sinister plot devised by no-one else but the North Korean government. After many hours of research it turned out it was just an ordinary j-pop single by a not-so-ordinary j-pop singer.
#4 Number four on the list has to be the fact that one of the better groups that grace the music scene in Japan have only released one lousy single in 2009. Perfume released “One room disco” in March of 2009 and after that it got eerily quiet around the Hiroshima Trio. Yes they released Triangle in 2009 as well! But fuck that. I wanted at least 3 singles.
Aaah, I love Ayaka and those other two girls whatever their names are.
#3 After shitting out decent singles like “Nanchatte Renai” and “Shouganai Yume Oibito” Tsunku suffered from diarrhea and created the most horrible song right after that-one-song-where-they-are-dressed-up-like-pirates-and-Aichan-ressembles-Adolf-Hitler-a-lot. I know that the latter wasn’t coming from the pooper of Tsunku, but that is beside the point. Kimagure Princess is the most horrible single I have ever heard. Come on Tsunku! Why the hell do you have to speed up their ever-so-lovely voices?! Stupid idiot!
FINÄL FANTASY IßT TÖLL JETZ?!
#2 That figures, doesn’t it? Right after I start developing a deep and passionate feeling towards Kusumi Koharu she gets fired for being an ignorant employee of Upfront Works. Don’t kid yourself and pretend she quit by herself. I personally she got sacked because she couldn’t be arsed to do shit anymore. She was Kusumi Koharu the miracle girl. You don’t tell her what to do, she tells you what to do. And if you don’t like that you’d better get the fuck out. Or you fire her. Which is exactly what UFA did. Well, good luck with your “modeling career”. I’m sure I’ll run into you one day when I’m visiting Japan while making a visit to a pachinko parlour in Shinjuku. There I will find you sitting behind a pachinko machine, gambling away the last of your yens as you mumble out the tunes to “Happy Happy Sunday”. I will gently tap you on the shoulders and whisper in your ears “こはるちゃん。。。日曜日じゃないだ”. We will have dinner in one of Shinjuku’s many ramen stalls and discuss life and how it got to this point. Well, something like that anyway…
#1 My number one disappointment of 2009 undoubtedly is the canceling of the Buono! concert in Sweden. FUCK.
Those 3 could've been Buono! :(
That’s my Top 5 disappointments of 2009! Luckily without sorrow there can’t be joy so get ready for the super happy genki “Top 5 Happy Moments of 2009″. Or don’t. Whatever you please!
Tags: 2009, Disappointments, End of the year, So emo!, Top 5 list Categories: Totally unrelatedNo Comments, leave yours! »
November 24th, 2009 Brian64 rolls of toilet paper + urge to build =
The one question remains, where to start when the roll on the hanger is empty?
November 21st, 2009 BrianThis post isn’t exactly related to Japanese pop music; so if you’re expecting a parable about the words in j-pop you can stop reading now. A lot of songs, whether they’re from 1930 or 2009, have a story in them. Some are about love, others are about food and some others are about practically nothing.
In the 70’s a great singer that goes by the name of Clarence Carter made it to the Billboard Top 100 with a song he called “Patches”. The 2nd verse tells us about Clarence his father who was obviously a very diligent farmer.
My papa was a great old man I can see him with a shovel in his hands, see Education he never had. He did wonders when the times got bad. The little money from the crops he raised barely paid the bills we made.
The other verses tell us about how his father died and how Patches became the man of the family. In the end of the song his mother died as well to make matters worse; yet Patches grows up to be a very strong and just as diligent of a man as his father was. The story behind this song is touching story about how a young boy has to take care of his family because his father dies. That same young boy becomes a man who manages to save his family by very hard.
In 1992 a not-so-similar formation called “Compton’s Most Wanted” released their song “Hood took me under”. Bob Dylan once sang how the “times they are a’changin’” and this story is a prime example. In 1992 it was Compton’s Most Wanted who “has another gang story to tell” about “how a black nigga (tautology lol?) was born in hell“.
At school slappin on the girls asses. Fuck the white education so I skip a lot of classes. Cause ain’t no teaching a nigga white reality. Teach me the mutherfuckin gang mentality.
Where Patches was being supported by his family, the rapper of Compton’s Most Wanted is obviously lacking parental support. And apparently it’s a good thing that the hood took him under. As he is obviously earning a living in a way that anyone would encourage. Hell, I bet Patches would be up for living like our friend from CMW (Compton’s Most Wanted). However! Don’t give up hope yet, as our friend sings in the final verse “Was it worth it I’ve always wondered. Maybe if the hood didn’t take me under.”. Sadly enough the previous sentence he raps about how he is going to server 25-to-life for committing a murder on one of this fellow hoodigians.
Then, in 1999 a group consisting of 7 girls sang about living alone in Tokyo. However, for these 7… well let’s be honest this was Natsumi her song anyway… for this one girl it was parental support that she was lacking. Yet she keeps on living on the right side of the path that is called Justice; because she did not want to disappoint her mother. Yet she is relieved she lives on her own because now she is able to fall in love; without her mother bitching about the soon-to-be-son-in-law. And how would guess she’d be a pretty good cook as well! It’s sour, a bit spicy and a little sweet… morning curry.
Tags: Clarence Carter, Compton's Most Wanted, Contrast, Morning Musume, Music Categories: Totally unrelatedNo Comments, leave yours! »
October 28th, 2009 BrianAwesome PV, shitty song. Solution? Replace the music. Problem solved. Lo and behold. 5 classic songs who can substitute the Kimagure Princess just fine without devaluing the PV!
Tags: Bored out of my ass, Kimagure Princess, Morning Musume Categories: Totally unrelated4 Comments »
August 25th, 2009 Brian
Isn’t she the most cutest thing you’ve ever seen?! Gawd she’s so tiny I’d be afraid to break her. ;_; Damn it Reina! I LOVE THEE! <3 <3 <3
Tags: George Orwell, Life, Reason why I'll be single, Tanaka Reina Categories: Life, Reina, Totally unrelatedNo Comments, leave yours! »
August 21st, 2009 BrianI’m not a big fan of beauty pageants. Not so much from the moral point of view (beauty is on the inside blah blah) but just because I can’t be assed to follow it. Why should I anyway, I have enough on my mind. This year however, I noticed the extreme beauty that is Emiri Miyasaka.
Isn't she lovely~ Isn't she beautiful!
And unlike most canditates (or so I can guess) Emiri is quite honest about the questions that define her “inner beauty”. On the question “What would be your 3 wishes”, instead of wishing for world peace, ending world hunger, and having ラブラブ sessions with me, she wished for:
- I’d like to speak all the languages in the world. It is languages what makes us super human.
- I wish I could transform into fish, but I wouldn’t want to be made into sushi! (Hilarious!)
- I want to have the ability to transport myself to the Bahamas any time I want.
With answers like that; you’re a winner in my book!
Tags: Emiri Miyasaka, Miss Universe 2009, Something else for a change Categories: Life, Totally unrelatedNo Comments, leave yours! »